What I Learned About Love from Eartha Kitt

Must we compromise for love?

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Daniel Mingook Kim on Unsplash

Every so often, I come across self help gems online and it’s always such a treat. I’m always looking for the next inspirational piece that’s going to resonate with me, remain with me, and kick me in the pants to make meaningful changes in my life, especially my love life. And I feel that in the case of dating and relationship advice, a message that is simple and impactful will always go further than the endless speculative bullet pointed articles that try to explain some variation of why does he act this way?

So, imagine my delight when I found this video of Eartha Kitt stating some wisdom I had never heard, but will likely stay with me forever:

Eartha: “A relationship is a relationship that has to be earned, not to compromise for. And I love relationships, I think they’re fantastically wonderful, I think they’re great. I think there’s nothing in the world more beautiful than falling in love. But falling in love for the right reasons. Falling in love for the right purpose. Falling in love. Falling in love. When you fall in love, what is there to compromise about?”

Interviewer: “Isn’t love a union between two people? Or does Eartha fall in love with herself?”

Eartha: “I think, if you want to think about it in terms of analyzing, yes. I fall in love with myself, and I want someone to share it with me. I want someone to share me, with me.”

The first time I heard this, I sat in silence for a few minutes fully soaking it in. In a culture that glorifies struggle love and ride or dies, could this have been the advice I was missing out on for so long? Wasn’t love supposed to be grueling? Weren’t relationships more about how I felt about my partner, rather than how I felt about myself? The wisdom says no.

“I want someone to share me, with me.”

So thank you Eartha, thank you for feeding my soul. You’ve given me a lot to chew on and set me on a journey of discovering the person who will be loved, partnered or unpartnered, from this point onward.

Written by

I enjoy writing about society and culture, especially of the internet variety. janicebaecopy@gmail.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store